Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
