i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
