imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
