You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
