I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
