this boner is exhausting
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
