I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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