'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
