Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
