Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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