Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Alive.
So much puke
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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