is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
