im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
