Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
