didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
