Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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