just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
