weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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