Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize