yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
