I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
