he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize