why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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