why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
