Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
