Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
