Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
