Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
PANTIES FOUND
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