11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
