I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
