Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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