Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
