At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
