Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
