THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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