all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
