Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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