me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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