I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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