That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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