I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
