There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
