They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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