are you still at the devil's house?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
