i permit you to call me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
