I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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