Whod you bang
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
