If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
