Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize