theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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