Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
