And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
