he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
