You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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