he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
