They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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