In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Screwed.edu
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
