you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
