I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So many bounce houses so little time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
